The alarm goes off, I snooze. The backup “no really it’s time to wake up now” alarm goes off, I snooze. I have a mildly upsetting dream involving a long car ride and some girl trying to steal my boyfriend. I wake up, peeved. I look at the clock.
HOLY SHIT IT IS 8:00. One full hour after I normally wake up, and 25 minutes before the very last minute I can leave the apartment and still get to work on time.
I take the quickest shower of my entire life. (Family, take note: it took eight minutes! I CAN take short showers!) I run around like a crazy person, because tea is required even if I am late. I wear the moderately questionable outfit I had planned, because I have neither the time nor the brain power to come up with something better. I blow dry my hair until it is sort of dry and throw it up into a lumpy ponytail.
I ghetto iron the collar and button placket of my shirt WITH MY STRAIGHTENING IRON. The one for my hair. It looks pretty good.
I am out the door by 8:30am. I get to work five minutes early. I think I am still sleeping when I get there, but I am there. What just happened?