So I’m in the dressing room in Target this afternoon. I’m trying on some jeans, stupidly thinking I might find some decent ones for less than $30. As I pull them up, I only have one thought: “What is with these damn low-rise jeans? Teenagers these days.” Then I try on a very cute floaty square neck shirt… and it’s so large and floaty that I look pregnant. As I was frowning at myself in the mirror, wondering why Target hates me so much, I find a bunch of gray hairs. So I guess it’s not just Target that is out to get me.